18/3/17 求神事件

為甚麼會那麼難。真的是因為大家變自私了嗎？所以溝通才那麼失敗。一心一意卻得不到認同。他失敗就讓他去是吧？曾經以為的都不是真的。以為他會認同我，以為我對他是有幫助的，以為他是需要我的。結果我只是甚麼都不是。眼淚還在流，沒有誰對誰錯的婚姻，只有愛不愛。也許愛他是需要放手。我在等那一天的到來。等到眼淚不流了，心不傷了，可以一個人過日子了。

其實也不過如此。把快樂建立在別人痛苦上，也許就是這兩個不合適的人的宿命。閉上眼睛，蓋起耳朵，合上嘴巴，同時也關上我的心吧~

23/01/2017

女人有多复杂？不过是想要个拥抱和sayang~ 几句赞赏的话足以让她奋不顾身的付出，你却连一句话都吝啬。

一个女人连猫狗花草都不如，到底还有什么值得坚持下去。

忙，到底是理由还是借口？一句话甚至一个拥抱根本不用一分钟，你却愿意为了其他大事小事花上24小时。

不要问我发生什么事，因为我只想要发泄我的情绪。

19/12/2016

当所有难过都没有出口，当悲痛没办法消除，当心灰的彻底，当心痛得麻痹。。。
到底需要多久才能痊愈？到底怎样才能重新开始？到底怎样才能破镜重圆？
7年就改变，到底怎样到10年20年30年？
不被爱的人应该怎样度过刚刚开始的婚姻日子？
看戏看很多，梦也作很多，从来就没有想过现实也会发生的事情，要怎样才能接受？
谁能勇敢承认自己的错误，接受宿命的安排，接受应有的惩罚？
怎样才算对自己负责任？

好多问题在我脑海里，我走不出来。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。

06.12.2016

为什么总是在心情不好时才会想起这里？

终于我们结婚了。虽然已经注册了，可是婚礼才刚刚举行完毕。来领的星期六还有一场女家的宴会呢~

KL的晚宴是混乱的，可是我不后悔。结婚后的生活也并非如我所愿幸福快乐，因为那是童话里才有的。婚姻生活除了笑容以外，眼泪也不少。是什么让我如此不安呢？我已经不断告诉自己我要有自信，我不怕失去任何东西。可是我还是很在乎，那些细节里透露着的讯息。我需要的是什么，还是我到底缺少了什么...

在自我检讨中我应该要改变一些什么？不断的退让？睁一只眼闭一只眼？假装没事发生？告诉自己感觉都是骗人的？我更应该珍惜拥有的？有时可能人真的有心魔吧~ 人真的会贪心吧~ 我只是希望自己更被在乎一点，更珍贵一点，更被疼爱一点。可是越渴望情况就会变得越糟。没有任何女人可以接受自己的另一半对别的女人一样好甚至更好。为什么他就是要有一个这样的女人当朋友呢？

我不想胡思乱想，可是现实情况却驱使我往更坏去想。为什么要删除信息，为什么频密联系，为什么要回避，为什么要为她做生日，为什么为什么为什么。。。我找不到合理的答案。还会给惊喜别人的老婆~我到底多少年没收过惊喜了？

这就是为什么人会对婚姻恐惧吧。我不想被婚姻打败，更不想被生活打败。我一定要找到自己要的生活方式。没有任何事情有什么大不了，挺直腰板眼一闭就挺过去了~

我不爱了

今天是七月初七，七夕情人节。可是我一点都感觉不到幸福。

昨天老公忽然间提出我们之间我一直不在意的问题。我知道我们之间的性生活实在少得可怜，可是我一直都没把这个问题看得那么严重。可他昨天竟然说如果问题无法解，他不想他未来会在外面找别的女人。

我真的不敢相信竟然从他口中说出这段话。男人是野兽吗？没有性生活就要出去找女人？！我真的真的真的对自己非常非常失望。。。我用一辈子的承诺就换来这个男人？！我忽然觉得我不认识眼前的这个男人。我非常非常心寒。

他说得没错，没有一个男人是没有性欲的。是我天真无知，以为选了个万中无一跟别人不一样的他。什么爱不爱的，原来只是建立在性欲之上的名称。原来对他来说没有性就没有完整的爱。

他想要的跟我要的完全都不一样。我忽然觉得我不爱了。可能我真的不够爱。经过昨天我彻彻底底对爱情失望。。。。。。。。。。。。

2014 Happy New Year

cho4, we go a place where we used to go but long time no go -- Tanjung Sepat. Same as previous time, we bring over our bicycles to hang around at that Chinese New Village. The most impress scene is the sunset, unfortunately I miss the whole process. When we reach the beach, there's only left half sun that we can seen. But it is so beautiful with the nice sky color. The regret thing is my man wasn't with me during this beautiful moment. What to do? He want "Jaga" his bikes.... =.="

Promise breaker

If the little promise in daily life you also couldn't guarantee to make it, then what else do you think i can believe in you?

Although it is a small promise but doesn't mean that i won't care at all... when i mentioned: PROMISE ME AND DON'T LIE means I put it in my heart for this case...
I will have hard feelings if I found that you ALWAYS break the promise that you make even it is small matter... don't waste my trust. If you couldn't make it wat for you agree with the promise? I prefer you never promise rather than you break it....

Hi dear, please take note....

Black Wednesday

Today dear's motor tayar pumjit... he walk home with motor for 20+ km...I'm so pity him...

"So sorry dear I forgot to pay ur phone bill and bring lots of trouble to you... so sorry ~"

hope he can be tough to face all the COMING problem....

GAMBATEH!!....... I love u....... ^3^

Sabah KK trip ♥

This year, I bring dear go Sabah Kk for his anual holiday ~
although the trip only have 2person but we didn't feel boring at all..

We rent a kancil for hanging around the town..
We stay in a quite nice hotel named Cititel..
We both like this hotel vy much ~
But the car quite dirty makes him run of nose..
>.<

We went to a pasar at the seaside...
And we eat some expensive seafood at 不夜天，but the food was really nice as well as the sea view... especially when sunset..
After that, we just back to hotel... the sky look dark faster than west M'sia..
Less night activity in KK... before we reach hotel, we try to travel around the town look for some activity but failed.. nothing to do except sleep during the night..

After taking bath is just 9pm something, the night is still young!
We decided to hanging around the shops near hotel..
Finally we found a Korean shop and we bought some cup mee for supper..

The 2nd day,as our plan, we having island hopping in Tunku Abdul Rahman National Park which consists of 5 islands.
The jetty was difficult to find... we use more than half an hour to get the jetty location..
We choose to go manukan and sapi island..

Sapi island was clean & clear, but less of fishes..
Manukan have more fish but only several species and the island was dirtier than sapi island ... maybe bcoz manukan had more ppl and bigger island lo..

When we back to jetty, we found that the kancil can't start,
Lickily the car having a sticker to show emergency call number..
We wait almost half an hour for the person to come and fixed the car..
While we waiting for that person, we eat cup need again in 7-11..
the 7-11 at here got tables and chairs ...

After the car been fixed, we went to the pasar again to try the bbq seafood...
Too many stalls until we feel hard to choose which stall we want to buy..
End up we choose a stall with young girls who help her mother look after the stall..
They are friendly and kind... ^_^

In the other day, we went to locally shopping and buy some souvenir before we back to west M'sia..

Happy birthday to my dear 2012

Today 21/3/12 is my dear 31th bday...

he already work for 60 hours before this...

he must be so tired...

but i still want to celebrate with him...

I can feel happy for whole day just because wait to meet him at night~

ya! i Miss him~

I think he must sleep like pig now...^^