refreshing memories~

wo men yao yi bei zi zai yi qi~

today, i refreshing all the memories with my dearest chee woon~start from the 1st day i know him (but not include the days he came pitstop that i didnt mention abt him), is the day they ask for my phone number~hehe...is funny...^^

after few month, i know i like him, then i show on my blog...but the stupid people dont know i was talking abt him. i show my feeling by giving some tips on msn, but the stupid cheewoon still dont know~~really pig~~('00')

one day, he suddenly msn me say he know who i like and miss which i mention in my blog, he say he so happy~but hor, he still didn't said he got like me or not...==" only said happy... but i got save that conversation of msn...he really so cute~^^

after he know i like him, we go out few times...he bring me go dinner at ampang lookout point...this is not the 1st time i out with him, the 1st time is meet at pitstop, he bring pooyee come meet me~~

but the 2nd time we still shy shy~not much talking~is weird~haha...but sometime he look so stupid~wakakaka~~^O^ after dinner he bring me go gaigai with pooyee~i know this is the special memory for us~the 1st time we bring pooyee gaigai..^^

after that everyday i also ask him go out with me~but not only 2of us but with my friends~i worry he would not follow me hang out with my friends but he accept all the invitation~^^...he show good attitude in front of my friends~all friends like him^^

we go yakiyaki with shinya them, go 4season with my coursemate....every time also a sweet memory~i go movie with him also, ...i still remember inside the car, he try to find something to talk with me~~hahaha^^

everynight he will call me, we chat until very late around 2,3am~i know he need work another day but he just keep chatting with me~i hope i can finish the call as soon as possible but i fail because i really enjoy the time chat with him~

all this sweet memories were happen before we become couple~after become couple all this was change~big change, dont know is good or bad~got a moment i cant accept the changes~but fortunately, i had used to the change now~

after we being together still got many memory~but all this memory cant replace the memory before we being together~in this 257+ days, we had good memory as well as bad memory~but every bad memory give me lesson to growth~

i enjoy the days with him~everyday with him also is the gift that god for me~no matter happy or not, i will always appreciate the moment with cheewoon~~i am waiting for the 1st year anniversary...is 15/11/2010~^^

colors in the darkness

this few days back from jb, i just feel i am life in the darkness. even everyday hang out with friends or having some activities, but i still feel boring and lonely.

last few day, my ex was calling me. But i dont entertain him. because i know chee woon would not like me to go out with him. I really care my dear so much. same as him, maybe.

Nobody know why i felt unhappy this few days, same as i, myself, also dont know. i had try to keep myself away from others except my dear~ However, i decide to hide HERE from him to spread out my word in my world~

I really hope he can understand. I dont want to make this as a way to tell him something. because we can had the real communication ourselve. this is the way that i spread out my unhappiness and problems.

He done nothing. he didn't do anything make me unhappy. all the people was missunderstanding him. the problem is me. since i also dont know why i become like this. i just feel the sky was grey, the world was dark.

But, only when i saw him, i see the colors in the darkness. even just a few minutes.

im at jb

i am at jb now~~how was my dear life??botlot everyday??haha~~
dear, i am missing u oh...now look like everyday also argue between us...
i know u feel bad when having arguement with me...
because ur feel easy get bad when i am not listen to u..
but u know every people also have their own feeling and thinking ma~
maybe we still need more time to know more about each other...
maybe i am not the most good girl friend to suit my dear~
but i wish to try to be a more and more good girl friend...
i know he want me to support him and his dream...
haiz~~~i really unhappy for our bad communication...
why every time he also will be down after we argue something?
if no arguement then no communicate then how to know each other well?
i am really love him, but i hope we had happiness more than sadness...
what can i do to made you love me more??
what can i do to made you care??
what can i do to made you happy??
how can i enjoy this relationship?
pls dont let me feel tired....dear~

ran away

i want to run away.
i feel so tired now.
why was me?
to be the provider.
give and wait.
give heart and wait for respond.
give love and wait for his love.
give time and wait for his call.
i wonder how much was his love.
maybe love cannot count as mathematic.
but how to made me feel balance?
what is the different between like and love?
if in the case buy a shirt for another person,
give money and ask them go buy what shirt they like, is like
put afford to buy a shirt that feel they will like for them, is love
then, he like me more than love me.
i dont dare to ask anything like last time.
because it is no answer.
just like what shinya said,
if u still want to be with him, u need to bare on it.
yes, i love him so much.
until i feel i am so cheap.
i am the one who need most.
he will always tell me how i am important.
speak, on words, only.
but then, how much is the truth?
i wonder how much he know about me.
how much afford he had put on me.
how important was me for him
some people will tell me
boys does not really care this
ok than, but still got others guy i know they care this
they care everything about the one they love
i know he don like i compare others with him
so i dont want to say it out.
but the truth,
how much he do for me?
i wonder where is the place of me in his heart
i just feel he is not really love me
this is not the 1st time i had this feel
i know he will say i just keep on find trouble on him
but after this long period about 7month
i really cant feel more from him
or maybe i always ask for more
i had no sleep for 2night due on thinking this
what should i do.
i want to run away from here
keep myself back to my life.
i need time to rearrange my feel to find the better way.
so just leave me alone.